Tag Archive | C.S. Lewis

Irony and Dementors: Exceedingly Joyous Musings of a Hogwarts Drop-out

Guten tag, friends!

That is German for hello, by the way. I have taken it upon myself to teach my tongue the beautiful language of German. Not that I am completely confident that I will finish, but my language-learning-app says I’m already 9% fluent in German. That’s enough to keep me going.

I had better get right to the point instead of boring you with my linguistic endeavors.

Well, here goes.

The story begins on one blustery autumn dawn, before the sun came up, and the wind was coming so hard that all the trees turned into skeletons within minutes. I had just gotten my cup of Dandy Blend “coffee” and was now sipping it with great etiquette in the covers of my twin bed. I reached for my journal and started writing earnestly.

“Dear God,” I began, as I always do. The letter to the Almighty God spanned about two pages, and all through it something in my heart was bitterly wrong. I felt strange. I had no feeling of enthusiasm, and there was no sense that I was close to God as I had always felt. I began to pray aloud, but something was not right. It felt like a dark cloud was raining and thundering over my heart, and I wanted to open up my chest to check if that was possible. It felt very real. As I reached for my Bible, there was a strange impulse to withdraw my hand. I resisted, and opened the thin, fragile pages of God’s love letter to the book of Matthew.

Something was dreadfully wrong.

There was no wish, no crazed zeal to hear what God was speaking into me. I felt gross, ugly, wicked. What was happening? I did not want such feelings to be in my heart, yet there they were. I wanted to just sink into a hole and never come out. “God!” I cried. “Please, I do not understand!” There was something very funny going on inside of me. I had just finished that Hinduism paper I mentioned from the last post, so I concluded that it was the source of my troubled spirit.

As the day drew on, however, the dark clouds gathered over my heart in torrents, and the darkness descended on my countenance. I searched my mind, and was determined to figure out what was the source of my sadness and the indescribably miserable feeling that I was very far from God’s hands. I missed the joy that flooded my heart and the soothing sound of the Spirit’s voice deep within my soul. I thought I could hear Him sometimes, but lies were creeping in, and I decided that either it was God’s voice, or it was a lie. I did not know whether it was God or Satan whispering into my mind. It was scary that I couldn’t discern which was which. I instantly remembered the verse “My sheep know my voice.” If I didn’t know God’s voice, then…

I cried to my parents, I poured over my Bible and cried out to God in my journal, but there was inevitably something in the way. Something I knew very well was a block in my path, but liked too much to remove.

In a desperate attempt to free myself, I listened to praise music, decided I needed to stop being legalistic, and was determined to be free and happy. I just wanted to live in joy of Christ, after all! All I want to do is live for Jesus!

Didn’t I?

A thin beam of freedom came through my dark box of sadness on a day I did not expect. I was sitting lazily in the car as we drove home from a recent college visit in California. My sister and I had just started listening to Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban. It was turning out to be my favorite book in the series: Buckbeak the flying Hippogriff, Professor Lupin who was really a tormented, lonely werewolf in disguise, the new menacing dementors, Sirius Black, and Hermoine’s time-turner were elements that were fantastical and symbolic. I loved every word of it.

As I listened to Harry talk to Professor Lupin about his dementor complex, it made me think about my own predicament. Professor Lupin’s words were something that made me start thinking. Instead of quoting the book, which I tried to do, I will briefly explain Lupin’s lecture here.

He told Harry that being around a dementor was terrible because they sucked out all the happiness from you. They were cold, soulless beings who had no emotion, no sight, and no anything, really. If you were a immensely horrible person, you would get the “dementor’s kiss,” which is where your soul gets sucked out of you. Without your soul, there is nothing left for you to live for. There is no you.

It made me think of C.S. Lewis’s quote:

“We don’t have a soul. We are a soul. We happen to have a body.”

Instantly, I felt like my soul was slipping out of me. Myself was being drained from my body. My “self”—the self that is me. My identity. Me was leaving me. I was being drained and replaced with something all the more different.

Automatically, I knew what it was.

The hilarious irony of this grand story is the fact that Harry Potter was the dementor sucking the soul out of me. All I wanted to do was go to Hogwarts. I wore my Gryffindor scarf on cold days, I talked about Harry Potter at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I dreamt every night about being in a class with Snape or McGonnagal. It was horrifying.

After returning home, things began to change. Harry made me feel strange, and after asking Google a few questions about J.K. Rowling and such, I found my patronus! I decided that it was time for me to bid farewell to the world of Hogwarts. I got a bag and filled it with all my HP stuff. As sad as I was to see it all go, if this—this temporal, draining, sad stuff—was going to get in the way between me and Jesus, it had to go. I wanted my joy back. I did not want dementors sucking my identity out of me and filling it with nothing but empty stuff that’s all going to burn in the end.

I have missed Harry and friends a great deal. Ironically, we taught each other some great lessons, but in the end, I think I owe Harry both a hug for showing me the source of my bondage, and a smack on the nose (which would ultimately crack his circular glasses) for giving me such bondage.

After I closed the lid on our monstrous, green and very plastic garbage can, I felt like the sun was shining through those clouds and my heart started singing again. I felt like laughing, crying, singing, and dancing for joy. There was nothing that could take God’s love away from me. Nothing can ever steal my joy again, because I will not let it. Hogwarts failed to, and so will everything else. I started thinking.

I feel like the whole world is living in such a bondage. They’ve all got dementors hot on their trail, following them everywhere, and sucking people’s selves out of their bodies. Everyone has all got something that drains their joy, their energy, their vivacity for life, and in the end, their entire self has been murdered and is replaced with a horrific, lifeless figure who has no cause to live in the world.

I have started using the internet a little bit more for school, and some of the articles I get for my research projects are devastating. Sexual abuse is the media’s hot topic, pornography is ruining marriages (but is considered constitutional), the divorce rate is immensely high, North Korea wants to blow us up, racial tension divides our country, and millions of people are so tangled up in their strings that they do not know who to get out. They’ve all got dementors, and they do not know how to shoo them away.

They need the patronus of Jesus Christ.

Just speaking the name of Jesus Christ is even more powerful than “expecto patronum,” because it not only frightens away our dementors (like Harry’s patronus), but it destroys them, obliterates them, and reminds them that the devil is already defeated.

So, instead of listening to the Hermoine’s who tell you you’re only going to mess things up, go out there and yell the name of your Savior, your God, your King: Jesus Christ. Because you will save the day, you will bring light to others, and you will deliver yourself from bondage and freedom! So, I challenge you today, my lovely friends, to stand up and put off your bondage. Throw it off. Do not let it rule you anymore. You have so much to live for, and so much God has planned for you. Do not let a little dementor suck you dry just because you’re afraid to let it go. Ask God for that strength and courage to let go.

Maybe Harry and I will catch up one day, but I do not think that’ll happen. Besides, I kind of LOVE living my life dementor-free.

I love you, all!

Auf Wiedersehen,

Emily 🙂

P.S. Speak the words of Christ and speak your freedom with the power and authority that you have. Take Harry for example. For the love of gifs…

Expecto Patronum 😉

P.P.S. I have started work on my Rey costume for STAR WARS VIII! Yahoo! I am so excited. I made a few tweaks to my original design, but it is still going to be awesome. I will keep you all posted on it (once I get some nice pictures), and I’m going to work on it today after I finish waking up…even though it’s 2:00. heehee 😉

I’ll keep you updated on my German skills 😛

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The Awe-Inspiring Book Tag

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Hi, everyone!

I have created a book tag with some bookish questions. And bookish is a word in case you were wondering XD .

But, before we begin, I wanted to tell everyone about my new YouTube videos I uploaded to this blog on the post 2016 Summer and Lessons Learned. I actually uploaded the Lauren Daigle and Hillsong United videos to the post so be sure to watch those when you get a chance 🙂 . Ok, I’m done talking—here’s the questions:


Question #1. What is the current book/books you’re reading (or just finished reading)?

Answer:  The Gospel of Mark by Mark the Disciple of Jesus 🙂 , and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee


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Question #2. Did you like this book/books? If so or if not, why?

Answer: I love both of these books! I’ve read the Gospel of Mark dozens of times, but the book always gives me joy to live for Christ and shine out his light to glorify his Kingdom! As for To Kill a Mockingbird, it is extremely realistic, gives the reader a feeling of “really being in Alabama alongside the characters”. Harper Lee is an incredible author; she’s extremely descriptive and I couldn’t put the book down after reading a chapter. It also gave me the gory realistic truth about segregation in the United States during the 30’s up until the 70’s. I never realized how difficult it used to be for blacks and even for the whites who stood with them until I read this book. I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for a good read.


Question #3. Where do you most often go to read?

Answer: I like to sit up high in a tree sometimes to read (call me daring, I love it). Sometimes I’ll sit on my bed or I’d lay in the hammock before it broke mysteriously. I do most of my reading in my bed before I go to sleep, though.


Question #4. What is the best book (or books) you’ve read this year?

Answer: Ooh, that’s a tough one. To Kill a Mockingbird is definitely one of my favorites this year. I had a good time laughing over The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain. I also really enjoyed A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’engle. It was a very brain-twisting book—it made me think, which was what I really enjoyed about it. All the riddles and hidden morals were wonderful!

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Question #5. If you could live inside the world of one book, which would it be?

Answer: That’s very easy: Lord of the Rings. I would want to be an elf, live in Mirkwood, and fight spiders and orcs till the sun goes down. I’m a LOTR Geek with an affinity for elvish-culture. 🙂


Question #6. What is your favorite book or book trilogy/saga/quintet/series?

Answer: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and Narnia 🙂

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Question #7. What is your favorite reading genre?

Answer: Fantasy/Action/Adventure


Question #8. When were you first able to read fluently?

Answer: Four years old


Question #9. What was your favorite book as a child?

Answer: If Elephants Wore Pants by Henrietta Barkow 🙂 My parents would read this book to me and my little sister pretty much every night before bed when we were little. I still remember every single little detail of the story!

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This was my favorite book as a crazy four year old 🙂

↓ Funny Star Wars pun below ↓

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Haha, moving on…


Question #10. Who are some of your favorite book heroes?

Answer:  Eowyn for sure! She’s beautiful, strong, valiant, and a warrior. What more is there to say? May that speak for itself, right?

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Second would probably be Legolas or Aragorn.

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May that also speak for itself…ahem.

My third favorite hero is Maria from the book The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge:

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In the story, Maria is numerously thrown into danger and always bravely stands up to fight. I can’t give away the plot of the story, but it was one of my favorite fantasy/adventure novels. Elizabeth Goudge is a British author (LOVE IT!!!) with extremely artistic and stylistic techniques in her writing. I couldn’t put this book down and it’s a very good read! Just, keep a dictionary next to you during the first ten chapters. Otherwise, it was an amazing read. J.K. Rowling, Author of the Harry Potter books says, “I absolutely adored The Little White Horse…”

Anyway, back to Maria. She is brave, courageous, and never gives up even when all odds are against her. She was my favorite character in the entire novel.

I also love Scout and Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird and Meg from A Wrinkle in Time


Question #11. Do you have any favorite book quotes?

Answer: Yes! I loved it in Narnia when Aslan says to Lucy, “You doubt your value, don’t run from who you are…”

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This quote is literally essential for girls going through puberty and hormonal stress! The world tells us we have to look like supermodels and actresses to look gorgeous, when really, that makes us doubt our value and makes us run from who we were really are. We run to change our image with makeup, and tons of other things I could get into. We run from who we were originally created to be, which takes our eyes off Christ and focuses our eyes on ourselves.

I love Gandalf’s quote:

“…All we can decide is what to do with the time that is given us…”

Also, I love Eowyn’s quote “…no living man am I…” from the book The Return of the King! Here’s the quote (some of the notes were taken from Wikipedia):

The Witch King declares, “I will bear you away to the houses of lamentation, beyond all darkness, where your flesh shall be devoured, and your shriveled mind be left naked to the Lidless Eye.” The Witch-king further boasted that “No living man may hinder me,” referring to the 1,000-year-old prophecy by the Elf-lord Glorfindel, foretelling that the Witch-king would not fall “by the hand of man”. Éowyn then removed her helmet and declared:

“But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.”

– Eowyn, my other girly hero besides my mother 🙂

She totally deserves a gif for that – I know this gif is from the movie, but who cares, right? She’s still awesome and gorgeous.

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I also loves one of Aragorn’s quotes from the Lord of the Rings (I’m not sure which book, and he has a lot of quotes)!

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“Deeds will not be less valiant because they are unpraised.” -Aragorn

For most of you who don’t know me, I’m a people-pleaser. That isn’t always bad, but the world won’t always be the nicest and you can’t always take their advice. Thus, when my “valiant” (haha) actions go unnoticed, even the little things, that doesn’t make them unworthy. They are still things God put in my heart to do, and God saw me, which is all that matters. God was pleased with me and he is praising me even when no one else is. That’s why I love this quote!

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